One of the greatest causes of our unhappiness, stress, and anger, in fact just about every bad feeling is lack of acceptance.
We want things to be different.
We don& want them to be the way they are…
If you want to have any sense of peace and joy in your life then you must learn acceptance.
Accepting that things are the way they are does not mean that you have to tolerate that they continue this way.
Accepting that things are the way they are does not mean that you approve of what happened to make them this way.
What acceptance does is it frees you from the emotional burden caused by wanting the present to be different…
…and allows you to use all your energy on creating the future the way you want it to be.
There are many things in everyone’s life that shouldn’t have happened. They did. Accept it. You cannot “unhappen” it.
What you can do is to take steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
There are many things in everyone’s life that should have happened. They didn’t. Accept it. You cannot go back and “happen” them.
What you can do is take steps to do the things you know you should do.
In the present moment… breath.
Pain and suffering happen when you hold on to something. The stronger your attachment is to something in your life, the greater your suffering.
- Even if you still have it, you fear losing it.
- You fee the uncertainty, the unknown of not having it.
But we live in a world of things, of possessions, of people we care for, ideas (or ideals) we hold onto… and the solution is certainly not abandoning everything in our lives.
It appears the solution is to love and appreciate everything in each moment… but the next moment let go of it. Just let go of the idea of keeping… of holding on to.
Release the attachment while appreciating and loving everything.
This also works for problems that we love to hold on to, even identify with.
- Do what you need to do for the problem now, and let go
- If you can’t do anything about it right this moment, make a note on your calendar of when you can do something, and then completely let go of it
- If there’s nothing you can do about it, let go of it
This is a practice along with meditation and feeling the stillness within the chaos of life. Don’t get frustrated, let go of frustration right this moment and just breath.
Two years ago I was a bachelor spending my days doing whatever at a whim. I was a good zennist, finding tranquility in the complete quiet of solitary life.
Now I’m a husband to a beautiful wife, a father to three beautiful girls, and the caretaker of a mind full of chatter and unrest.
I now realize that I wasn’t a good zennist… I was cheating. It’s easy to be at peace and meditate when you have nothing to be responsible for and and nobody else to consider. But throw in the non-stop noise from a 6 year old girl and the unyielding pressures of supporting a family of five… well, my friend… even a zen master would start twitching regularly while conversing with his ego about the nature of sanity.
You know what, sanity is completely over-rated… just let go of the notion that you gotta hold on to sanity… it’s futile. Let go of sanity… be insane. Embrace your insanity… then just let go of it.
It’s still a daily struggle to find that tranquility, to let go of the anxieties and find that mental balance of non-judgmental being. The one thing I realize now and then is that all our anxieties and unrest are 100% in the mind. It’s possible to let go of them and feel that blissful detachment while taking steps to meet your real obligations.
I’m reminded of a book I haven’t read but has a great title: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff–and it’s all small stuff
That’s the question I find myself asking ALL the time. It’s a central focus of my meditations more often than not.
I just randomly stumbled upon a blog that answers this question in a way that made me laugh so hard I’m still in tears… I introduce… Puppetji
…[forget] this nonsensical questions. People seem to believe they are what they do. Stop. This is false my friends. This is merely the identity trying to create meaning or purpose where there is none.
Let go of these questions… freedom comes in not knowing.
Large parts of our life involve accumulating “stuff”. We’re always buying more and more, always collecting.
I’ve started to declutter my life by letting go of “stuff” each day. It’s a process of simplifying my living space.
The less stuff I have, the lighter and more at peace I’m feeling. It’s pretty powerful, this letting go.
Meditate on this, you don’t need anything other than breath, water, and small amounts of simple food. Some would add inter-personal interaction, and I would agree that we need people to interact with… but not as much as you think.
Let go and free yourself of your attachments… even if it’s just for a day.
The Ultimate Quest, “The Meaning of Life” or “The Purpose of Life”.
I mean, we’re here living on this earth at this time… why?
Out of all the books I’ve read and people I’ve spoken with… the one bit of wisdom I’m finding in common is this:
“Life is without objective meaning.”
At first that sounds like a very bad, depressing notion. But think about it. If there’s no inherent purpose to our lives, then we are free. Free to create meaning.
So we are free to exist and free to create our purpose, however simple or grand it is… without external judgment.
What do you want to do now?